New Outlooks...

"Spare yourselves from the indulgence of self-pity. It is always self-defeating. Subdue the negative and emphasize the positive." -President Gordon B. Hinckley

Well, hardly ever will I speak my mind on blogger. I usually talk and share stories through my pictures rather than words. I never know just what to say and how to say it. Written words can always be taken so many ways and I never want things to be taken the wrong way...besides I usually just write and don't organize my thoughts in any way...it all just comes out and that can be scary. :) Anyway, this probably won't make any sense to anyone, but maybe my family and some close friends.
Last semester was difficult for me. I don't know why exactly. I am an emotional girl and I think maybe there were just too many emotional things going on for me. I was SUPER excited to start the school year and my family had a big trip planned to California for my brother's wedding (finally) and so I was very excited about that.
But then things started to happen. I lost all my friends from home to missions, school, and other adventures. I also lost my best friend Emily from Snow to marriage...he is great and I am extremely happy for her, but I miss her like crazy. I loved my ward, but then they split my apartment building off and put us with the freshmen in Eccles. I was planning a trip for 46 adults to go to Mexico and we had nothing to go off of (budgets, contact information, etc.) except for our own experiences...we had no idea how much behind the scenes work went into that. Next, I finally met some friends down here that I loved, never would have hurt them in any way, and I was hurt very bad and I didn't even know how it all happend...it just did. I started to get behind in my school work, I started not to care, I just wanted the semester to be done. Right before the semester ended, Grandma went into the hospital, we had no idea she was so sick...she would never have let anyone know. (I'm amazed she even went to the hospital.) I was able to go home and see her one last time, but she ended up passing away while I was in Mexico, just a few days before Christmas. To top off the year, we had Grandma's funeral on Christmas Eve, the day we looked forward to spending with her every year. I was so mad...and sometimes when I think about it, I still am mad! :) I just didn't understand why my last year of school was going so bad. I didn't feel prepared to start off the new semester, and first day of block, I was not excited. They tried telling us how close we were going to get and I just couldn't see it. However, things started to change...
I decided to have a new outlook on life. Life is short, this is my last semester of school...it has to be a good one. I called up an old family friend...who lives here and I hadn't seen forever and he gave me the most amazing blessing. I started working on basics. I had to decide what was most important to me in my life. I came up with the church, my family, my friends, and my education....the basics. I decided that I really needed to step it up a notch on church...I felt like I was becoming in active because seriously, I absolutely dreaded going to my new ward. Everytime I was there I just felt like it was a joke. I wasn't focusing on the doctrine or anything else. I knew I needed to find an institute class...and I found two. I am taking a Book of Mormon class on Tuesday nights and Keys to successful scripture study on Monday and Wednesday mornings...early. I needed to be more diligent in my prayer and personal scripture study, and most important to me, I needed to be more Christ like. I needed to love those who are making me struggle....I needed to pray for the "enemies" which sounds bad, but has been the most humbling experience. I needed to surround myself with good friends....which I have done and I think it has made a HUGE difference in the person that I am. Not that I had bad friends before, but I needed those super righteous ones...ya know, the ones who always go to church, firesides, FHE, and every other church thing there is...the ones who go faithfully no matter what...and the ones who love to do cute little acts of service! I have come to LOVE my new ward, I finally have a calling as a member of the Activities committee. I look forward to prayer, both with my roommate and my personal prayer. And, I look forward to institute...even when I have to wake up an hour earlier and miss my one sleep in day. I LOVE the gospel and I am so grateful for it! It is what makes my life good. I have found that as I have set my priorities straight, I have been a much happier person. I walk a little taller (literally, and I didn't start on doing it on purpose). I am more positive and loving towards others. It's all about attitude and the gospel. My last semester...I'm gonna to live it up baby! (In a righteous way!)
P.S. I am liking the block alot better...and I could see us getting close!